ME: Blank Top, your phone number please?
GIRL: Yeah, I missed a call from this number about fifteen minutes ago?
ME: Did you call for a taxi?
GIRL: I did.
ME: Then that was probably me calling you to tell you your taxi was outside.
GIRL: Oh. Uh, is he still there?
ME: What was your address?
GIRL: 1234 X Street, apartment 567.
ME: Nope, he's long gone.
GIRL: What do you mean he's gone?!
ME: Well, he was there, nobody was outside waiting, I called you and nobody answered, so he waited five minutes and took another call. Hence, he's gone.
GIRL: Well, send him back!
ME: He went to another call.
GIRL: That's BULLSHIT! I mean I've been on hold for like twenty minutes! I can't wait any longer!
ME: Well you should have answered your phone when I called you.
GIRL: Well I called you right back! It wasn't my fault I was on hold for twenty fucking minutes!
ME: You see, you're missing a crucial distinction here: calling right back is not the same as answering your damn phone.
GIRL: Well if I hadn't been on hold it would have been fine!
ME: That's another interesting scenario: when you got a call back from the number you just ordered a cab from, wouldn't is occur to you to maybe, you know, check outside and see if there's a cab waiting for you? Rather than languish on hold for twenty minutes?
GIRL: Well how do I know to do that?!
ME: How indeed.
GIRL: What?!
ME: Look, do you still want a taxi?
GIRL: Uh, YES?
ME: Okay, we'll be there as soon as we can.
GIRL: EXCUSE ME, how long will that be?
ME: Probably like ten to thirty minutes.
GIRL: Ten to THIRTY?!
ME: Yeah, for some reason lots of people are calling for cabs right now, I have no idea why.
GIRL: Alright, whatever. Just call me when the cab is here.
ME: No, we already tried that once, remember? You'll need to wait in the lobby.
GIRL: No no no, I'm not waiting in the damn lobby for thirty fucking minutes.
ME: Okay then, you have a nice bus ride tonight. (I hang up)
Merciful God somebody please shoot me.
GIRL: Yeah, I missed a call from this number about fifteen minutes ago?
ME: Did you call for a taxi?
GIRL: I did.
ME: Then that was probably me calling you to tell you your taxi was outside.
GIRL: Oh. Uh, is he still there?
ME: What was your address?
GIRL: 1234 X Street, apartment 567.
ME: Nope, he's long gone.
GIRL: What do you mean he's gone?!
ME: Well, he was there, nobody was outside waiting, I called you and nobody answered, so he waited five minutes and took another call. Hence, he's gone.
GIRL: Well, send him back!
ME: He went to another call.
GIRL: That's BULLSHIT! I mean I've been on hold for like twenty minutes! I can't wait any longer!
ME: Well you should have answered your phone when I called you.
GIRL: Well I called you right back! It wasn't my fault I was on hold for twenty fucking minutes!
ME: You see, you're missing a crucial distinction here: calling right back is not the same as answering your damn phone.
GIRL: Well if I hadn't been on hold it would have been fine!
ME: That's another interesting scenario: when you got a call back from the number you just ordered a cab from, wouldn't is occur to you to maybe, you know, check outside and see if there's a cab waiting for you? Rather than languish on hold for twenty minutes?
GIRL: Well how do I know to do that?!
ME: How indeed.
GIRL: What?!
ME: Look, do you still want a taxi?
GIRL: Uh, YES?
ME: Okay, we'll be there as soon as we can.
GIRL: EXCUSE ME, how long will that be?
ME: Probably like ten to thirty minutes.
GIRL: Ten to THIRTY?!
ME: Yeah, for some reason lots of people are calling for cabs right now, I have no idea why.
GIRL: Alright, whatever. Just call me when the cab is here.
ME: No, we already tried that once, remember? You'll need to wait in the lobby.
GIRL: No no no, I'm not waiting in the damn lobby for thirty fucking minutes.
ME: Okay then, you have a nice bus ride tonight. (I hang up)
Merciful God somebody please shoot me.
7 Comments:
At 11:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
For a split fraction of a second there, I was afraid that might have been me, because of an incident a few days ago where I called a number and said "I missed a call from this number earlier." Of course, since this wasn't yesterday, and the person on the other end apparently spoke Unintelligible Mumblese, and it didn't turn into a taxi conversation...well, that's why it was only for a fleeting moment. Ah, the things I mistake at first glance...
At 12:38 PM,
snarkydreamer said…
what the hell is wrong with people? How do they function in this world with such small brains?
At 2:17 PM,
Conchscooter said…
Its a circle of interdependance, they rely on us to hold them up. A woman called my police dispatch center today asking if we could go and pick up her son's luggage which he left somewhere in town last night...when he was arrested. She got quite snippy when I told her that wasn't happening. I am not as free as Blank Top to tell her the best plan was to not get arrested in the first place.
Which restrictions send me here for some light relief.
At 9:43 PM,
RebeccaH said…
I used to think I had the worst fecking job in the world: verifying eligibility requirements for master and PhD candidates, and telling them why they couldn't graduate. I thought, there are no dumber jackholes in the world than master and PhD candidates. You've shown me the error of my assumptions.
At 8:52 AM,
Lauren said…
This post has been removed by the author.
At 8:54 AM,
Lauren said…
thanks for sending smiley and i our cab :-) we got to Washington Harbour in Georgetown in about...5 minutes!!! the driver let us say hi to you over the radio but you sounded way too busy to hear us.
love "blank" top!
At 12:59 AM,
Rebekka Pierre said…
danm, u finally got to hang up on somebody!!! it was about time!
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